The 5 Aspects of Emotional Intelligence for Leaders

There are 5 aspects to developing emotional intelligence. They are as follows...

1. Self Awareness - This is an understanding of the stories we tell ourselves and how those stories are creating our emotional experiences.
2. Self Regulation - This is an understanding of the stimulus-response model. Each of us creates labels for the experiences we have. When something happens (stimulus), we determine the label or meaning of the stimulus. The meaning, or label, that we give to the stimulus determines our response. Our ability to control the labels will determine our ability to self-regulate. There are 3 questions one must ask to gain control over emotional regulation. 1) What would I have to believe in order to feel ______________ (what you want to feel)? 2) If I wanted to believe that, could I? 3) Do I want to?
3. Motivation - Can I develop the cognitive skills to override emotional states and act even when the feeling is not present? Can I use goal-directed behaviors to stimulate the right/desired emotions?
4. Empathy - Can I understand the perspectives of others without automatically judging their perspectives? Can I evaluate the world from outside of my own perspective?
5. Social Skills - Can I develop an understanding of the different expectations of behaviors (norms) that are associated with the various roles I might play or others might play? Can I consistently demonstrate appropriate behaviors in a variety of settings? Can I read the non-verbal reactions of others in a variety of settings and respond accordingly?